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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?